Crystalized Thoughts
You look healthy. Lucky bitch :p can people tell when you're spun?

Haha well thank you.
& Not really. Close friends yes, but for the most part no.

Hey pretty girl. You feelin' okay? And be honest with me, I care...

I’ve definitely seen better days.

But thank you for this. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate this

hey whaddupp..just wanna be ur activity friend?lol would u mind adding you on skype or something? wanna meth^ u more..lol :)

I don’t have a Skype, sorry dude

You've tried to get clean, right? How did you do it? Do you have any advice? Because all I have left is the resin I can scrape and then that's it, I'm done. The worst part about the comedown (and the withdrawals from heroin) is the restless arms and legs and being forced to lie there awake with m thoughts and shit. I've done it before but atm I don't really know what to do :(

I know what you’re going through.
I’m trying to quit right now. I am 6 days clean, and it has been the hardest 6 days of my life.
To stop, I have completely rid my life of anything or anyone that might cause me to relapse.
The physical withdrawals are tough, but they are nothing compared to the way my mind tortures me with thoughts of ‘the monster’.
I’ve recently been smoking a lot of bud, to help me sleep and silence those thoughts. It’s been helping me quite a bit, but it hasn’t solved all of my problems.
I really do hope you are doing well, and I hope you can over come all that you need to.
If you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here.
Stay strong

What is it like being high on meth? Can you describe the high? How long it lasts and the side effects like not eating or whatever.
Anonymous

Being high on meth. What a crazy thing.
For me, it depends on how you do it.
My preferred way of doing it is shooting up.
Let me just start off by saying, shooting up meth is not the best way to do it health wise. But man, it is and always will be my favorite. If you plan on trying it, I suggest that you do not start by shooting.
The very first time I did meth, my friend shot me up and little did I know, it would be the beginning of a very long journey.
When I shoot up, it’s not just the meth that’s addicting.
I got addicted to needle the itself.
There’s something about watching my blood mix together with the toxic chemicals until the liquid is scarlet red.
There’s nothing on this earth that can compare to rushing.
You push the liquid inside of you, and almost instantly you can feel the meth travel through your body.
It’s like you can feel the warm energy start in your arm, travel to your heart, and get pumped through every inch of your body.
Your body feels warm and charged, and you feel ready for anything.
It’s much more of a physical high than a mental high, although you almost instantly have positive thoughts racing through your mind.
Everything just seems okay, an all of the worries from minutes before begin to wither away.
My high after one shot will usually last a couple hours.
Side effects to me are not very noticeable because I’m just too busy enjoying the poison running through my veins.
But I usually never have any desire to eat or sleep. Many people also have little fidgety things that they do, often without thinking.
When I first started using I would clench my jaw or grind my teeth.
As time went on, and I became a more frequent user, the grinding of my teeth, and clenching of my jaw just subsided.
I’m not really sure why I no longer felt the need to do those things, I just suddenly stopped.
Personally, besides the health risks, it isn’t the meth that’s the problem. It isn’t being high that’s the problem.
It’s feeling so damn great about everything, and then having to return to reality that’s the problem.
It’s like once you’ve had a slice of heaven, anything else is hell.

You write so well. Everything you say is beautiful. You seem so wise and mature.
Anonymous

Well thank you!
I feel like I have an old soul.

We're just alike. I'm 16 years old to and I am fighting the same battle as you are it seems. Your blog is so easy to relate to, it's unbelievable. I know we'll win this terrible battle with crystal meth, I know it. Ill always be available if you need someone to talk to that can relate to yourself! <3

I’m glad I post things that are relatable to other people. It definitely makes me feel less alone.
I’d definitely like to get to know someone who is going through a very similar situation to my own.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
Thank you

there's nothing wrong with you. it's society, that has a problem with people doing or smoking stuff to feel good, that's wrong. there is nothing wrong with feeling good.

Thank you

What drugs have you done? You've talked about weed and meth, but you mentioned others... what were they?
Anonymous

I feel like I can’t properly answer this question without writing a book. So I’m gonna keep it short & sweet and just give you a list.
Weed
Spice
Mushrooms
Acid
Oxycodone
Hydrocodone
Xanax
Seroquil
Adderal
Vyvanse
Ambian
Codeine
Molly - (MDMA)
Cocaine
Heroin
Meth

I believe this is the order in which I tried them.

It sucks…

You know what sucks?
Not liking yourself.
It sucks because it’s like being in constant battle with yourself, and defeat is guaranteed.
And it’s not just a part time thing. It’s all the time, everyday, 24/7.
Every time you see your reflection, whether it be in a mirror, in a window, in a puddle… you’re disgusted.
You can’t see a single thing in yourself that you actually like…
And then there’s your thoughts. Terrible, terrible things.
They are whispers that haunt you. Screams that leave a ring in your ear. Constantly screaming and whispering and screaming and whispering.
So you try to shut them up.
You try to drink away the whispers, and sleep away the screams, but they just keep coming back.
And you can’t get away.
You can never get away, because you can’t escape yourself.
So you try a drug… And it actually helps a little bit.
You try a different drug, it helps a little bit more.
Then you find that one drug that finally helps you get away.
It helps you get away…from yourself.
But you only get to get away for a little while.
Then you have to come back down, back to yourself, and your reflections, and your thoughts, and the whispers, and the screams.
And now you have the guilt from doing all of those drugs, and you judge yourself far more harsh than any other person ever could.
So you’re stuck.
You’re stuck in this constant battle with yourself, and defeat is guaranteed.